Last weekend, I spoke to my friend Wunmi… She said “I read your post Nigerian Mothers and Marriage its informative but too short oh. Fade, you need to emphasize on the pressure a bit more“. So I decided to do another post on it.
“Mummy, do you want me to beg men on the streets to marry me?
Should I pack my belongings into my male friends’ houses? Do you no longer believe that God’s time is the best? If you are tired of seeing me here, just tell me so that I can move out and rent an apartment of my own.”
My friend used these exact words when she was speaking to her mum about her single-hood status. My friend, Dayo is 32 and her parents are fast becoming anxious. They believe that she ought to be in her husband’s house by now. They are not pleased that she is yet to introduce a man as her fiancée to them. The pressure is already taking its toll on her as she no longer enjoys attending weddings and naming ceremonies.
Dayo couldn’t even pick a call in front of her mum. Once her mum knows she’s speaking to a man, she becomes extremely nice to her, she will bring juice for her to cool down during the conversation, once her mum see the conversation isn’t going towards whats she wants to hear, she goes in the kitchen and starts screaming “Dayo! Dayo! so gbo mi ni? Can’t you hear me? I need you in the kitchen right now“. Furious Dayo has to end the call because she knows her mum won’t stop embarrassing her.
Parents please, we know love us, no doubt about that but its gets really frustrating. There was a period I won’t go home to see my mum on weekends because all she talks about is Marriage this! Marriage that! and I got married at 26 years old oh!
I suppose, they mean well with their pressures, as they have various reasons for doing so. Some of these reasons are:
- They want to see their grandchildren before they die. Every Mother wants to be called Grandma. Y’all need to see the way my mum embraced that title.
- They believe that having a daughter brings wealth, or at least a rich suitor. Thus, they want their daughters to marry early, especially if the parents are not rich so that they can begin to enjoy wealth through their daughter. Lol… This happened to my friend.
- They parents already know that the daughters are having sex in the name of dating, which they frown upon. It is partly because of this they want their daughters to marry early to have sex within the legal and holy institution called marriage… We’ve all and/or still doing this!
- They don’t want people to gossip about them. Lol.. I remember my mum telling me that.
As a single lady, you have to decide what’s best for you. Constant communication with family is very important. At the same time, don’t get defensive and rebellious with your parents. It is only going to aggravate the situation.
Parents should beware not to pile the pressure on their daughters so as not to push them into wrong marriages they will regret. At the right time, the right man will come along.
Nextweek, I’ll do a post on the pressure ladies transfer to their boyfriends because of the pressure they are been subjected to by their parents
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