It is the dream of many women to get married. This is why they learn homemaking skills, look nice, try to be well-behaved so they can land a man and lure him into the snare or holy matrimony. Unfortunately, this does not work for all ladies as we all know. Men are naturally wary of getting married so they need a special incentive to ask a woman to marry them.
For instance, I once went to a wedding and the young men were discussing with each other about how lucky the groom was to have gotten such a nice girl. I found this surprising, especially as many of the men at the wedding came with one girlfriend or the other. So out of a real desire to know, I summoned up courage and asked the men why they are yet to propose to the women in their lives. Here are some of their replies.
He’s just not ready to get married.
It took me a long time and a lot of pain to wrap my head around this fact. No matter how nice you are to a guy you are dating, if he’s just not ready to get married, he’s not ready. There’s nothing you can do about this sad but true fact of life. A man needs to consider himself as being financially and psychologically ready to take the plunge, especially as I told you that most men are naturally wary of marriage. If you are with a man who is working and still hints you that he is a poor man, leave him! He obviously sees himself as being too poor to get married. Or if you are with a man who also tells you that he wants to work on his career, when he’s doing well in his career… My dear run! He is indirectly telling you that he is not ready to get married.
You let him get away with abusing you.
If you are with a man who does not respect your personal boundaries, cheats on you, verbally abuses you and you let him get away with it, he is most unlikely to marry you. Even if he does, there’s a good chance he will leave you for a woman who stands up to him and does not allow him to treat her like dirt. I once read an interview where the late Ojukwu reportedly said why he loves Bianca is because anytime he tries his military man behavior towards her, she tells him, “To me you are nothing but Emeka!” Why do you think she was his last bus stop? The late Ojukwu was reportedly a womanizer but calmed down for Bianca who was young enough to be his daughter. If you let the man in your life get away with abuse, you have created bully material, not husband material!
The influential women in his life don’t like you.
If you are with a man and the influential women in his life (such as mother, sister, aunty and cousin) don’t like you, especially if this is a collective dislike, it is very unlikely that he will marry you. You might remain in the girlfriend region until you walk out on him. To remedy this, get to know the women in his life better. Spend quality time with them. You don’t have to suck up to them, but you would do well to be in their good books.
You are already acting like his wife.
When you go over to your boyfriend’s house, wash his clothes, cook for him, clean the house and maybe even live with him, how do you expect him to marry you? You are already doing the traditional wifely duties he will have felt incentive to bring a woman into his home, so why will he want to carry wine to your parents? Do yourself a favour and stop degrading yourself by such acts. Stop them this instant! There’s no need to do all that in order for a man to imagine you are wife material.
He really, really doesn’t want to get married.
There are some men who don’t believe in marriage. They are likely to tell you very early on in the relationship that they have a phobia for marriage. They make statements such as marriage is bondage, marriage is a prison, if not for my parents I’ll probably never get married, or they come straight out and tell you that Linda, I don’t want to commit. If you ever hear the man in your life make any of such statements, don’t stick around hoping you’ll be the Miss Right, the special lady that will make him settle down and consider marriage. It just won’t happen because there’s no amount of love that can make a man do what he really does not want to do.
To sum it up, if you’ve been dating a man for two years and he has not made any serious moves towards marrying you, you are gambling with your time. And remember: most gamblers end up broke!
Did I miss anything out? please share your thoughts.